The Grief of Outgrowing Their Judgment

A cishet white Christian man called me a cunt today. I'm supposed to be offended.

I'm not.

It's the same as when they call me crazy. I don't flinch at that either.

Why would I?

If "sane" means walking around like genocide isn't happening every single day...

If "sane" means pretending not to see the injustice right in front of me...

If "sane" means swallowing the delusion of supremacy, trading my life for green paper, handing it over for a piece of metal that doesn't even let me drive freely...

If "sane" means accepting that human, land, or animal must die so that I can be free...

Then I will wear "crazy" like a badge of honor.

(Go read Allison Holdmymolotov's breakdown of the word "crazy." She nails it.)

So when he called me a cunt, I recognized it for what it is. The system's automatic response to anyone who stops performing obedience. If he's that bothered by me, I must be doing something right.

But hear me out. It's not about hate.

To be clear: I know there are decent white cishet Christian men. That's not the point.

The point is that I have lost my default trust in them. I no longer look to that demographic for guidance, opinions, breakdowns, or moral authority. As a whole, I don't believe they possess humane judgment anymore. Not all of them, but enough of them. Enough that I can't afford to give them the benefit of the doubt.

And honestly? That breaks my heart.

Because I grew up looking up to them. My whole life, they were the voices of reason, the leaders, the protectors, the ones I was supposed to build with and submit to.

Now? I have no faith in their collective judgment. And that feels strange. It feels like waking up from a trance and realizing the people you trusted to hold the map don't actually know where they're going.

Andres Idda Bianchi

I would love to repair these relationships. Truly.

But we cannot repair what was never built on equal ground. We have to meet in shared humanity first. Not with one side demanding submission and the other pretending the system is fine.

Until then, I will trust my own compass. I will listen to the voices that see the whole picture, not just the ones who benefit from the frame.

Knock, knock.

Is the patriarchy broken?

Or did we just finally stop asking it for directions?