The Question No One Is Asking

Who Teaches the Young White Male How Not to Be an Oppressor?

Let me begin by stating, I am a human being. I am a Black man living on Turtle Island, better known by the residents of the United States as “North America.”

On November 4, 2024 a group decision was made using the voting booth and electoral college. 77 million residents made the conscious choice to elect Mr. Donald J. Trump to the White House. We now live under an open white supremacy. On January 20, 2025 the second Trump Administration officially began.

Although it has only been 296 days, at the date of this publication, so much has happened, it feels, just like during the first Administration, as if time has sped up. Unfortunately, I have a limitation which comes up whenever I discuss anything MAGA.

Because of my lived experience, I can only comment on racial matters from the side of being Black when discussing an open white supremacy. I can not dissociate, like I observe my European American friends and family being able to do.

I know at all times that I am Black. I experience psychological and emotional pain regularly through national racial moments. As I stated repeatedly over social media when Ahmaud Arbrey was murdered, when white racial violence is at play, I can see myself being murdered in every video.

In contrast, millions of European Americans do not see themselves in the faces or behaviors of those white bodied persons that willingly choose to break Black bodies.

2024 ended with the video of correctional officers gleefully murdering Robert Brooks, who was handcuffed behind his back. He was defenseless. Abuse towards Black bodies happens so frequently, millions of our European Americans forget the specific names and details. It is a luxury I am not afforded. And, precisely due to my outside of white supremacy bubble that I occupy, I am now starting to have compassion for a layer of white racial violence victims that are usually overlooked: young white males.

For the past 30 years, I have been on the forefront of race discussions. My social media is so saturated with the issue that I am considered extreme by some residents of the Black communities I live in. Why? I imagine they are secretly afraid of my being so outspoken, I am putting myself in danger. They do not wish to see me hurt for leading white persons towards greater humanity.

In my mind, I see no benefit in being silent. The threat to my existence remains whether I choose to speak on it or not. That being said, my heart, despite my pain, is turning towards white people.

In 30 years, it is my lived experience that white people collectively tell me race is not a part of their lived experience. Most people do not discriminate against them, and by most people, they mean, people of color - Black, Brown and the Indigenous. When a fellow white person treats them with injustice, that’s what it is: injustice. Their whiteness is muted when interacting with other white bodied persons. They are experienced as human beings. Race was not an issue talked about in their childhood. It is “new” in that it is taboo among European Americans. They have little experience talking to each other about race.

I am going to choose, for the sake of this discussion, to accept this mindset as true, even though, normally, I supremely disagree with the premise that such a disassociation from race is possible. So, that leads me to ask the following questions:

Photo by Athena Sandrini: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-man-sitting-on-rock-2962240/

I wonder how the young white male, with no guidance from Elder white males concerning race, racism and whiteness is processing the news cycle right now? Does he see the evidence for what it actually is: or is he processing the information through a racial lens that he must, for his own sanity, deny he is using?

How does the young white male internalize the pictures of ICE agents visiting pre-school and elementary school campuses? Does he see the fear responses on the faces of Brown mothers and fathers? Does he understand why the Brown faces would experience distress?

I have questions that I can not, personally, get accurate answers to. Is seriously wondered, among adults and the young, if there isn’t a massive emotional overload happening within European America that little to no logic can assist. Few are sitting down and talking to each other about the racial stress they are experiencing.

I guess, my central question boils down to: Does a community exist where the young white male who doesn’t want to be installed into an open white supremacy can find other white adults who also do not wish to follow the evil orders of an open white supremacy.

The answer I am asking for is substantial. It is not a quip I demand. “I am an oppressor.” Or, better stated, “I am a part of the Oppressor Class. Maybe, I am in this class against my personal will, however, I am still treated by Black, Brown and Indigenous persons as if I am an active threat to them.”

Literal thought barriers exist to prevent white males from coming to the conclusion: Does this conclusion (even) flow through the mind of a young white male? Does he come to that conclusion on his own? Does his mind run amok, looking for the good in his situation?

Does the young white male feel horror, imagining the idea that Black people, who do not already know him, will see him (in their subconscious) no differently than the way that he views white male police officers, like Minneapolis Derek Chauvin, calmly murdering George Floyd?

Does he feel horror, that HE sees himself reflected in Officer Sean Grayson, who murdered Sonya Massey in her kitchen? Does he imagine that there is a part of him who wants to do the same?

Does he choose to go numb in order to not feel this horror?

Does his nervous system almost shut down under the stress of viewing/defining himself in racial undertones? “I am a white man.”

Does it feel good to be a white man, as defined by United States racial relations? Does the young white male feel trapped in the identity of being white and not valued as himself; his personality; his individuality? Does he feel his ability to define himself stripped away by a racial identity he has no influence to change?

Does he feel it is unjust to be associated in the mind of persons of color with the capacity to engage in tremendous violence at any given time without the burden of guilt or shame.

Does he have nightmares processing his emotions?

I wonder what that young white male is learning as he watches the living examples in “White America” of older white males defending the actions of Elon Musk and Pete Hegseth. Does he see the pain his Elders are in? Does he feel a connection to their pain? Does he believe they are sharing in the same confusion and denial of culpability that he feels?

Out of necessity, to view himself as a good person, does the young white male internalize their arguments and emotional defenses? Does he use their arguments to soothe his own pain?

Out of necessity does he learn how to emotionally disassociate his identity from the concept of being a white male and choose to not “feel” race?

Does he choose to embrace the idea that he has no physical, mental or spiritual connection to any white male he doesn’t want to feel a connection towards?

Does he choose to feel no responsibility for the actions of any other white males, even while hearing defenses of that white male from white males? Even though he is studying these older white males to figure out how to navigate the emotions he is feeling?

I wonder what the young white male is learning as he witnesses the collective withdrawal of Black people across the nation from civic life. Black people did not participate in organizing a second Women’s March. (It turned into a disappointing People’s March.) Nor did they participate in the 50 States, 50 Capitals protest against Project 2025.

Does he hear the arguments of Black people and see the holes in the answers given to him by the older white males?

Does he force himself to judge the validity of the arguments before him?

Does he feel horror when he recognizes that the counter arguments by Black people make a lot of sense? They make more sense than the defensive arguments of the older white males?

Does the young white male feel absolute confusion over what is going on and just want to return to a sense of safety? Does he feel that there is nothing wrong with who and what he is?

Does he feel this need to forge a positive self-esteem out of desperation? Is he grasping for straws? Is there any positive self-image building material in the answers given by the racially blind older white males? Does this young male feel pressure still from the validity of the social media distributed counter arguments of Black and Brown-bodied people?

Pressure. Does he feel immense psychological pressure to view himself as a part of a monstrous system, yet, not wanting to be burdened with addressing the inherent injustice of his personal behavior?

Does the young white male look at an “It’s Okay to be White” flier shared by a neo-Nazi group and feel a surge of pride that some sees him as he sees himself: a good person, just trying to survive!

Or, does he feel embarrassed that the flier is needed in his life. That he really, really has low self-esteem because the message the defenses the older white males gave him sounds like “oppressor thinking” in his head.

He knows Black, Brown and Indigenous people are being oppressed. And, he is scared. He is scared because the emotions he is feeling are not given national voices too nor viable direction. He is not given a positive racial identity for white males.

He has been given the image of a monster. He knows he is not a monster. He knows he is a human being. He is a good person. He is someone who is trying to survive and seek self-actualization just like the young Black males, young Native males and young Hispanic males that he interacts with.

He wants equality. He has no guidance towards achieving equality because he has no living example of what that looks like.

What he has been offered is the culture of individualism and white supremacy.

What does he do if he rejects both because that is not the truth of who and what he is?

I wonder who is going to have a “You are White” talk with this young man.

Who is teaching this young white male how to not be an oppressor?

Who believes it is possible?