The Risk You Won't Take

Disclaimer: The following words were written by a human being, not artificial intelligence.

I don’t know you, Pastor John. (Is it okay to call you, Pastor John? Do you still use that title? I am choosing to call you “Pastor” because of your internet bio. If you no longer serve in that capacity, I apologize.)

When I say I do not know you, I mean, I do not know you personally. One-on-one. I have never made any memories with you. I have never sat in conversation with you and listened to your story. I have never made you smile or affirmed that your pain is valid nor celebrated your joy.

I do not know you in the way that European Americans demand that I know someone if I seek to provide said person negative feedback that I want them to respect. While my intention is not negative, the impact of my words may be so. In fact, I fully expect you to dismiss this communication.

Heaven knows, I expect millions of European Americans to dismiss this communication. After all, the subject matter is taboo within the European America demographic. Is demographic a better word to use than “community?” I’ve been told over the years that European Americans do not feel bonded in community. In activity, yes; in community, no.

Because the Master Teacher from Galilee is famous in modern minds for using stories to teach complex ideas in simple terms, I would like to imitate His teaching method between you and I.

Imagine a six foot, 230 pound Black man walking into a convenience store operated in North Eugene, Oregon. Although a noticeable Black community exists in the area, it is eclipsed by a numerical dominant white demographic. The contribution provided by Blackness is tolerated: i.e. expected to exist in spite of opposition, not supported and cherished because of its novelty and rarity.

Now, being the big Black man in this story, I do not have to use my imagination. I am using my memory. This story is not fictional. It is my lived experience.

Inside the convenience store stands an old white man. He is old enough for my mind to associate his childhood with segregation, meaning he went to an all-white school and had to contend with his parents complaining that Black students were “invading” his space. He is dressed in a stereotypical Pacific Northwest attire. Working steel toe boots. Faded blue jeans with flecks of paint. A well-washed black t-shirt. Blue jean jacket. A red “Make America Great Again” hat, weathered by sweat and frequent wear.

The old white man is about three or four inches shorter than myself. My goal is to purchase a cup of coffee. To reach the coffee pots, I must cross the line forming before the register. A young, biracial woman, wearing a N95 mask, is one of two cashiers. The other cashier is a middle-aged white woman.

I approached the old white man. I consciously look at his red hat and make a point to stop and read it.

“Make America great again, huh?” I say, more than ask. My tone isn’t hostile, but my body language is not friendly.

A nervous laugh bubbles up from the old white man. He smiles weakly. “Like it?,” he asks.

“No,” I answered. “But, you aren’t going to hurt me.”

“Oh no!,” the old white man exclaims. “I don’t hurt nobody!”

I walk past the old white man. I secure my cup of coffee and take my place in line.

I let another customer go ahead of me to avoid being served by the white woman cashier. After having a pleasant experience with the biracial woman cashier, I turn my attention to my left, towards the entrance/exit door. I see the old white man, once again in my pathway, standing in freeze, with his head down.

He already paid for his items, but, internally, from what I could witness, he was processing the cost of his whiteness. Because of a hat, I judged him as a threat. From the way he responded, I was given the impression he was not used to “feeling white.” It is not in the best interest of Black residents to “let” white residents feel white. Racial stress inside white bodies leads to violence towards Black bodies.

The local NAACP branch documents at least one racial incident per week in Eugene. Here is the evidence!

Hate crime reporting in question - from 2017: https://www.opb.org/news/article/oregon-attorney-general-ellen-rosenblum-hate-crime-reporting/

Update after focused hate crime reporting from 2022: https://www.kdrv.com/news/top-stories/oregon-hate-crime-bias-incidents-hit-new-record/article_22066192-f988-11ec-9dcd-b7c69b44aec7.html

Lane County NAACP (Eugene, Oregon) attempting to protect a Black student in 2024: https://ktvl.com/news/local/lane-county-naacp-responds-to-recent-violence-against-local-black-student

And, here is a recent article, from 2025, of the NAACP attempting to protect the Lane Community College President, who is a Black woman: https://www.kezi.com/news/local/investigation-reveals-lcc-board-members-discriminated-against-colleges-president/article_d03fd291-6e99-4c1a-9713-fd9182325d8d.html

The old white man might have read a news article about racism happening in other neighborhoods, however, such was not a part of his lived experience in North Eugene - until I crossed his path. For a second time, I looked at the old white man in his face as I walked past him towards the door to leave the convenience store. The look on his face was one of expectation, that I would reassure him that I saw him as safe. He gave me another weak attempt at a smile, which I did not return.

Sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to live in a white body. I, literally, have no reference points for the experience the old man is having with his relationship to the MAGA movement being something immediate and visceral, instead of distant and abstract.

Race is not supposed to touch his life; it is supposed to touch mine because I have “race,” but he does not. He has humanity, and, of course, I do not - unless he recognizes me having humanity. To receive this recognition, I have to treat him as if he does not have “race,” which he does!

Now that I have told you my story, let me turn my attention back to you, Pastor John. Some 330 days into this second Trump Administration, you, also, appear to be struggling with feeling white: with the fact that you possess race - no, better stated, you are generating the concept of race by your reactions to societal problems!

After reading your substack essay, I must reluctantly come to the conclusion that you are not alone. The comments on my social media feed taught me that the attempts with gentle parenting techniques, which you listed in great detail, are not working on MAGA family members. Trump followers are unfazed by the current events of injustice. Some are actually soothed. Others celebrate the outrage felt by “liberals” like they do touchdowns at football games.

For many European Americans, politics is not a discussion of how public policy outcomes affect people’s lives in the real world. Instead, it is entertainment. To them, when Liberals take the news seriously it is comical. Why? None of it - public policy or the news - is a part of MAGA’s lived experience.

The “it - whatever the topic under discussion is - has to happen directly to me in order for it to be real” is a high standard to meet. It demands Liberal white people give conservative white people the same experience I gave the old white man in the Eugene convenience store.

And, that means Liberal white people have to take a chance of receiving violence as a reaction to them inspiring racial stress. You know. The same risk I took.

Photo by lil artsy: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-about-to-catch-four-dices-1111597/

The problem is: deep down, you, Pastor John, don’t want to take that kind of risk.

Thank you for choosing to read this free article. Because EAGER seeks to finance an anti-racism/pro-humanity movement, please choose to join this substack for only $8 per month. Paid subscribers will be able to read the remaining parts of this communication. Thank you for your understanding in advance.