Professionally I handle feedback and constructive criticism very well. I’d have to being a hairstylist otherwise I’d have lost all my marbles long ago instead of having the precious few left that I do. lol
Fortunately for me, I’ve been doing what I do for a very long time now, so when situations as arise where I may have missed something, made a mistake, etc., I already know that I have. I just sense it. When it comes to learning for the sake of learning, well, that’s kind of my jam already. I like learning and I like teaching people things and both must exist to be effective, IMO.
When it comes to my personal life, Im
a work in progress. I’ve gotten a 100x better than I was but I’m sure I could still be 100x better than where I’m currently at but, it’s progress not perfection, right? When it’s tough to hear, I do my best to breathe and bite my tongue. Especially if my impulse is to act on instinct because I recognize now that’s wrapped up in a whole lotta generational trauma. Sometimes though … I still snap, but I’ve gotten a lot better at giving myself a “take 5.” A “take 5” for me is the same thing I did my best to model for my kids when they were small. If one of my kids was having a hard time and things seemed like they were headed south fast, we came up with the idea of “taking 5,” as a way to pause, breathe and come back to whatever it was that was going on. We established that it could be two minutes, an hour, whatever, and that they could simply say, “take 5” if they felt they needed to, and come back to the convo and if they needed another one after coming back to it, it was OK. Or if they needed a hug or whatnot to help them soothe themselves that was also ok. Then it occurred to me when they were little, why didn’t I do that for myself? So I did until I didn’t and that’s also wrapped up in a lot of trauma too. Right now what I struggle with is that I got so far away from myself for so long that once I broke free of a toxic dynamic, I had to make sure I knew my own mind, my own choices, good, bad, right or wrong, and own that stuff. So sometimes now when people offer up feedback, it feels like control or I’m somehow not enough, and I have to know I’m enough independent of what anyone else thinks of me or what I should or shouldn’t be doing. And I’m kinda stubborn … so what I’m working on is hearing people without shutting off or explaining why am the way I am, or worse, lose my shit. Those who cared to understand and really know me, do understand it.
This was DAMN good!!!
I have great teachers
Great read! Thanks for writing and sharing this!
Professionally I handle feedback and constructive criticism very well. I’d have to being a hairstylist otherwise I’d have lost all my marbles long ago instead of having the precious few left that I do. lol
Fortunately for me, I’ve been doing what I do for a very long time now, so when situations as arise where I may have missed something, made a mistake, etc., I already know that I have. I just sense it. When it comes to learning for the sake of learning, well, that’s kind of my jam already. I like learning and I like teaching people things and both must exist to be effective, IMO.
When it comes to my personal life, Im
a work in progress. I’ve gotten a 100x better than I was but I’m sure I could still be 100x better than where I’m currently at but, it’s progress not perfection, right? When it’s tough to hear, I do my best to breathe and bite my tongue. Especially if my impulse is to act on instinct because I recognize now that’s wrapped up in a whole lotta generational trauma. Sometimes though … I still snap, but I’ve gotten a lot better at giving myself a “take 5.” A “take 5” for me is the same thing I did my best to model for my kids when they were small. If one of my kids was having a hard time and things seemed like they were headed south fast, we came up with the idea of “taking 5,” as a way to pause, breathe and come back to whatever it was that was going on. We established that it could be two minutes, an hour, whatever, and that they could simply say, “take 5” if they felt they needed to, and come back to the convo and if they needed another one after coming back to it, it was OK. Or if they needed a hug or whatnot to help them soothe themselves that was also ok. Then it occurred to me when they were little, why didn’t I do that for myself? So I did until I didn’t and that’s also wrapped up in a lot of trauma too. Right now what I struggle with is that I got so far away from myself for so long that once I broke free of a toxic dynamic, I had to make sure I knew my own mind, my own choices, good, bad, right or wrong, and own that stuff. So sometimes now when people offer up feedback, it feels like control or I’m somehow not enough, and I have to know I’m enough independent of what anyone else thinks of me or what I should or shouldn’t be doing. And I’m kinda stubborn … so what I’m working on is hearing people without shutting off or explaining why am the way I am, or worse, lose my shit. Those who cared to understand and really know me, do understand it.
Like I said, I’m a work in progress.